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Why is 30 ashamed of being single?

Relationships that start in high school and end suddenly are the condemnation of those who, at the dawn of the third decade of life, thought they had won on the uncomfortable questions.


"When are you getting married?" "Why don’t you give us a grandchild?" "But you’re moving in together?". The traditional view of Christmas dinner with pressing uncles and grandparents is not "movie stuff". At least not only film.

Among pandori and panettone, candied fruit and tortellini, the question that even the rebels freeze often comes like a bolt from the blue, with tortellini in the throat. It is usually the/ uncle/ a shift that after a winter spent in front of Myrta Merlin on Pomeriggio Cinque is dying to shoot a cartridge of his.

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Un post condiviso da Dott.ssa Annalisa Di Ruocco (@rifletti_con_la_psicologa)

Involving his friend ChatGPT in the search why bring the poor 30 years old, already forced to manage eco-anxiety, fine dust, economic challenges, pensions that fade into the sky and black government, to the sense of shame, we list:

  • Cultural expectations: In some cultures, including Italy, there may be a strong emphasis on family, marriage, and procreation. This leads to the perception that success in life includes the creation of a family. The lack of a partner or the choice to be single could be perceived as a deviation from these cultural expectations.
  • Social pressures: Individuals may suffer social pressure from friends, family members, and colleagues. These pressures lead to feeling inadequate or ashamed of being single.
  • Media and advertising: Media and advertising often promote romantic and family stereotypes that can influence people’s expectations about their personal lives (d.r. Do you remember the Esselunga spot?).
  • Self-representation: Some feel judged negatively because of their emotional situation. These feelings can cause shame.
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Un post condiviso da Annuni (@real_annuni)

Although ChatGPT is always right, we have tried to humanize - we don’t want our faithful accomplice - the points of view of the guys in question and directly interviewed some of them.

Lorenzo (name of fantasy), 29 years closes, not by his will, a story after 5 years. "I’m not sad, more confused...". He had a project in mind and now he finds himself, suddenly, alone. "Who will ever be willing to commit and especially who will tell Mom?".

Elena (name of fantasy), 27 years is more rational. Like all women. "When a story is over, you should not try to save her. We must close it".

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Un post condiviso da The Wom (@thewom)

But it is never either black or white and Gaia (fantasy name), 32 years is proof of this. "The most difficult problem is accepting the end of a story, a marriage, a friendship as an event part of life. Normalize and not be overwhelmed by socio-cultural pressures that have tired everyone. Even our parents."


Illustration by Gloria Dozio - Acrimònia Studios