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Being thirty and in a relationship

For those who have abandoned the myth of the “right person” and replaced it with that of the “person who's there”


One thing you learn before or shortly after turning thirty is that you should surround yourself with people who make you feel good. The idea of selectivity in relationships at a mature age is a prerequisite for glimpses of illusory happiness.

The same goes for romantic relationships.

Even some victims of the so-called fantastical pseudology, the incurable mythomaniacs, seem to attempt to sober up after the third decade. The guiding star becomes “staying” even when you don't feel like it, and even when there's an urgent need to make room for individualism.

Having abandoned the idea of cuffing, obsessive swiping on Tinder, and experimenting with one mattress after another, being accompanied by a human being who sails on the same or similar wavelength of thought is a valid alternative to loneliness.

However, in love, there are no self-referential, monogamous, or polygamous rules. There are, to put it more accurately, different perspectives. We have explored them by involving souls close to the age of 30.

Some admit to a certain resignation in not being able to share the whole truth. But keeping secrets is a price we must pay, at least in part, in the hope of being appreciated.

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Are we truly convinced that absolute truth is the right solution for the growth of a love story? Impressed by honesty, we forget that throwing the hidden sides of our personality in someone's face could be irreversibly damaging.

Some paint themselves as unlucky regardless. Convinced, however, that they don't deserve love, they surround themselves with people who reject affection. And here's the trigger that leads to pain.

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Un post condiviso da Giselle Dekel (@giselle_dekel_)

By letting wrong, frustrated, and bitter personalities into their lives, they consciously reject those who would instead bring a bit of tenderness. Because tenderness sometimes generates repulsion.

And then there are those who seek and find someone who wants to be by their side. They work on the solidity of the relationship in a pseudo-healthy way, and if they had the money, they'd even have a child! What craziness...