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Tinder: a female point of view over the male point of view

If you thought that only boys could be, let's say, "great characters", you will have to change your mind

By Gaia Bencini

Some time ago, while looking for a room to rent, I found this announcement of a very nice apartment, already inhabited by a couple. So I decide to write to them to go and see the room and I prepare some questions to impress my possible future roommates.

When I arrive, after the usual phrases of circumstance, the initial embarrassment ends and we begin to tell each other about our lives, I ask how they met and how long they have been together. To my surprise, they reply that they found each other a couple of years ago on Tinder and that they have never left each other since that moment.

Anyone who has had the opportunity to read the other article will already know that I also had Tinder and that the comparison of experiences only took place with other girls. Lately, however, even with the fact that the Covid-19 situation seems to have eased and as my grandfather used to say "There is more Banda", I found myself going out with several guys.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, I started to harass these poor boys, who became my cavies, who I knew had Tinder (which means practically everyone, indeed it is more difficult to find those who do not have it!) To try to get into their little heads and understand their point of view.

The first thing I discovered was that while most girls give a “like” to very few guys, all guys do just the opposite. Theirs is the so-called “Fishing in tight meshes”, translated: they give a “like” to everyone and then select successively.

This is where their second phase begins: choosing between the (they always tell me that are too few) matches, who to write to or who to reply to. Finally, last phase, final skimming to be carried out during the chat conversation or directly at the appointment. Would you have ever thought them so meticulous.

 
 
 
 
 
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Un post condiviso da Tinder Trash (@tindertrash_)

It is also not true that all men aim to go out immediately, there are just as many who like to have loooong conversations online to open up a bit before meeting the other person (shy hearts are my favourites ones ).

Also it must be dispelled the myth for the girls: not everyone likes to spend their days responding to messages and especially to the usual "How are you? What are you studying?"

It is said that Tinder is populated by many more boys than girls and that, consequently, if you are looking for the latter the battle is much tougher, having to deal with twice as many people. You need the right photos (no guys, the one of the amateur football team taken by your drunk friend is not enough), and above all it is important to have a good opening sentence to strike up a conversation, in this case originality is rewarded.

Some advice from me (and also from friends readers who have Tinder who will surely agree): ABSOLUTE prohibition of abbreviations and grammatical errors, in addition I would avoid both the conversation turning into an interview and an opening with trivial sexual references , which are NEVER appreciated (at least not as a start!).

 
 
 
 
 
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Un post condiviso da Tidisagio (@tinderdisagio)

I had some fun dates told me, and if you thought that only boys could be strange, then you are wrong. A friend told me about a girl he met during Erasmus who worked as a model, with even more than two hundred thousand followers, and who had asked him out herself.

He told me that he immediately thought of finding himself in front of a "catfish" (Simplifying: people creating a fake identity and posting it for the purposes of beginning a deceptive relationship).

Instead they went out to see each other, she was actually who she said she was, only a few minutes after they met she starts a talk about the fact that she was tired of all the actors and models who flirted with her, all too well-groomed and too beautiful, and that she was grateful to have finally met someone, referring to my friend, who did not care about their physical appearance…. I let you imagine his facial expression ...

 
 
 
 
 
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Un post condiviso da Tidisagio (@tinderdisagio)

But even among the boys dates are not better... They told me about this first date, in which the other had spoken shit about the ex all evening, bursting into tears at the end. (Worse there is only those who spend the first date talking well about their ex, pretending to have remained friends with them).

When they finally manage to change the subject, the latter starts talking about the liqueur that their grandfather sold in Croatia, the method of production of the aforementioned liqueur, the recipe, the flavor, the aromas, the particularity, the aunt who drank and then luckily the other managed to escape.

After hearing a thousand stories like these and others, fortunately, ended well, I began to notice not only how many people had met on Tinder but above all also how many, among my friends, actually used it or had used it. In Italy, having this type of app is considered a taboo; in the rest of the world, on the other hand, even only in Europe for example, having Tinder is a must, not having it is like not having Instagram: it is in effect a social network.

You change the photos posted, add new of them, you enter the profile several times a day. I have to be honest, I also thought that Tinder was only frequented by people who, for some reason, were unable to relate to others in real life .. but if you think about it we are in 2021 and by now the approach has totally changed.

It is difficult for someone to approach you at the bar or for you to have the courage to do so before a certain number of drinks, by now we know each other mainly using social platforms, so what difference does having Tinder make?

If you haven't read it yet, run to read my article on the female point of view where I also tell my personal experience!

Read it here!