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What does it mean orbiting?

What it is, how it works and what we have to do if we realize that they are doing it


A spectrum revolves around the end of relationships: orbiting. I’m sorry, nothing to do with the astral paintings of Paolo Fox; it's instead the Death Star of malessere, the final weapon that adds to its already dangerous atomic arsenal, counting ghosting, breadcrumbing and gaslighting: But what does orbiting? This is the phenomenon whereby, after the end of a story, the ex partner remains in the life of the other through social interactions.

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Un post condiviso da momusso (@momusso)

How? After a physical detachment, the orbiter maintains a sort of bond, continuing to interact virtually: it visualizes and reacts to stories (it tends to be among the first to do so), drops like tactical under the posts, Tumblr posts stories of sunsets or rainy days with phrases of songs chosen with pliers. The playlist "palese questa canzone è per me" ranges from Ultimo to Pinguini Tattici Nucleari, passing through Calcutta and the timeless Tiziano Ferro. Driven by the desire for manipulation, done unknowingly or the result of real emotional indecision, the orbiting makes it really mad. The victim cannot detach from the orbiter and from its imposition, via social media, in his life. Impossible not to enter into a loop of questions: "why did he end with me if he maintains this form of bond?" "is he reconsidering?".

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Un post condiviso da Benedetta Lucignani (@una_psicologa_fra_tante)

How do we get out? The cure comes directly from the Sixties italian canzonetta, the pharmacist is a certain Sergio Endrigo who sang: "away from the eyes, away from the heart". Also the generic of Gianna Nannini is fine, provided that in equal doses. It’s not easy, you know, but limiting social interaction cases is the only solution: silent stories and hidden posts to begin with; if it were not enough, also obscure the contents of the orbiter, just to avoid misrepresenting any subliminal messages, hidden in yet another tearful sunset published by him. If the temptation to go and check his profile, looking for a sign of hope, is too strong, apply the final solution: stop following him.

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Un post condiviso da Cantautori Italiani (@cantautori_italia)

"Ok ignore everything, but unfollowing goes against the etiquette of the social era!": in war and in love everything is permissible, even being boors. Paraphrasing Oscar Wilde: "better to skip the stories and pass for assholes than to continue to put on like tactics and dispel any doubt".



Illustration by Gloria Dozio - Acrimònia Studios