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The fear of growing old

This story is part of the series (NON) HO PAURA


Rocco opens the door of his house and makes a smile, squeezes his eyes amused while two beautiful and elegant greyhounds zompettano around me so delicate that they seem to fly. I follow their footsteps and am catapulted into an atmosphere of another time. Drapes, carpets, paintings and huge sofas welcome me in a baroque living room

Rocco Caminiti is Calabrian by origin and Milanese by adoption. He is 50 years old, he is refined and always dressed in an elegant way, he loves vintage cars and good taste but above all he seems to come out of one of the paintings that surround him. There must be a portrait of Dorian Gray somewhere, I’m sure. He says he does not have big fears simply because he does not have time to live them, his day is marked mainly by his work that does not admit fear and if the fear occurs has a short duration, just the time to move from the problem to the solution. Then he thinks about it. He smiles. He looks at Mimì and looks for Ciccio. He settles the collar of the white shirt and whispers: "I’m afraid of losing my children". Mimì, greyhound female seems to understand him and stretches a leg in search of a contact while Ciccio ignores him yawning lying on his bed. Yeah, he defines them as his kids, his jewelry, and as he gets distracted playing with his watch, he tells me he got scared once, and it happened when he lost his father, a guide who was supposed to accompany him into his future. 

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Un post condiviso da Rᴏᴄᴄᴏ Cᴀᴍɪɴɪᴛɪ (@rocco.caminiti)

Rocco Caminiti is a surgeon specialized in reconstructive plastic surgery and paradoxically can not wait to grow old. I think he’s playing me. 

He says it will be a joy to notice what have been the fruits of his professional work, his relationships, his life and he keeps repeating that he is looking forward to becoming old. I don’t believe him, I stare at him and he comes out with this sentence: "You have to be aware of the cycle of life that you can’t change. No more useless models to follow, just run, just produce, we should return with our feet on the ground", says Mimì. "I don’t really identify with this world, you know, my world is smaller and simpler".

Rocco Caminiti is well aware that for women the fear of aging is different than what a man can feel. "She thinks she’s going to fade," he tells me "He’s going to bloom. In reality, if the woman has been able to give so much in her life, she will receive so much in her old age, and it is only the stereotypes of today that make her afraid".

"The more beautiful a woman is," he continues, "the more her fear of seeing disfigured her beauty increases. But remember: beauty is dangerous only for those who are superficial". He convinced me but I try again asking where he hides the portrait of Dorian Gray, he raises his eyes to the sky, obviously grins and sinks "true beauty is the kindness and values that make it up. Everything that is extreme is not in good taste, it takes balance and harmony, and that is what I try to give to my patients, men or women who are".

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Un post condiviso da Rᴏᴄᴄᴏ Cᴀᴍɪɴɪᴛɪ (@rocco.caminiti)

Rocco Caminiti admits that vanity is a sin, and being a very believer, he claims not to accept too vain patients. "My patients reflect my style, they are moderately vain, they let themselves be guided, they do not exaggerate so they are not sinners," she laughs.

Rocco Caminiti spends his time making women even more beautiful, he seeks that famous balance, he seeks elegance, he tries to control their fear, but he also makes them cry. A very young patient of hers ran away in tears from his office after he refused to botox her. I believe him because I was in the waiting room. 


Read the story Fear of Death.


Illustration by Gloria Dozio - Acrimònia Studios