Ah, love... the butterflies in the stomach, the sparkling eyes, the sweaty hands, the increased heartbeat, and everything that seems more beautiful. We don't walk, we skip; we don't smile, we laugh with relish. We have energy, good mood, optimism; we put on the clothes of the best part of ourselves. We are in a sort of grace that makes us feel invincible. Just like a drug.
From a scientific standpoint, everything is quite clear: the neurotransmitters in our brain release dopamine, and we feel good. Just like a drug, love creates dependence, bringing along a series of decidedly destabilizing contraindications. It ranges from depression to a sense of emptiness, from nausea to dizziness, and it culminates in frustration that transforms into anger.
We must be cautious with love, keep it out of reach of children, look at it with suspicion because if you try it even just once, there's no turning back. Just like a drug.
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But without love, how do we manage? Not shared with a partner, what success is that? Without a common plan, a child or a dog, a mortgage, what kind of life is it? It seems that there are no alternatives to love, but shortcuts to finding the ideal partner, yes. Here are some:
- One must know exactly what they do not want from the other person. The vast majority of people think about what they want. Oh no! Wrong! Thinking about what you don't want helps to narrow down the pool of candidates. What remains will be the right one or at least not what you didn't want.
- Have sex right away. Waiting doesn't make sense. Acting precious is extremely dangerous. The risk is that everything goes extraordinarily well except for the sex. Discovering it too late is not advisable. How do you explain that you changed your mind?
- Stay away from those who are similar to you. Common things get tiring, lead to boredom. Doing everything together is a quick way to break up soon. Go full speed ahead towards what is different, opposite, and even unimaginable.
- Don't check your partner's phone. The risk of finding something wrong is just around the corner. Try analyzing your own, and thinking about your partner doing the same will make you understand why it's advisable to mind your own business. Scary, huh?
- If everything is going great and the next step is cohabitation, have your partner come to your place and do not share bills or expenses. At any moment, you can say, "This is my home, get out." It's always good to protect yourself a bit.
And to conclude, forget about these 5 rules because, precious as they may be, when you meet a living being that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach, makes your eyes sparkle, your hands sweat, your heart beat faster, and makes the world seem more beautiful, everything will happen exactly the opposite of what was said above, just like love addicts... of love.
Illustration by Gloria Dozio - Acrimònia Studios
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